Love and loathing: Aunt Maude vs. Miss Rhodes

During my 90 trips around the sun, I have been privileged to witness or learn of some dynamic battles between a few immovable forces.

The first one I recall takes me back to the Saturday matinees at the Star Theatre in Monessen, where I was spellbound for more than an hour as the Frankenstein monster portrayed by Boris Karloff confronted Lon Chaney’s version of the Wolf Man. Yet another battling duo was constantly in my comic book pages, as I witnessed the Caped Crusader, Batman, battling the evil antics of his arch enemy the Joker.

In more recent battle scenarios, I hear from some younger eyewitnesses about the tremendous clashes which erupted between King Kong and Godzilla.

With all that in the background, the battle I once longed to see but one that never materialized, was the one that would have pitted my own Aunt Maude with my elementary social studies teacher we secretly referred to as “Dirt Roads.” Allow me to give you a bit of background.

Miss Rhodes taught our fourth, fifth and sixth-grade classes in history and geography. The Iowa Elementary School in Monessen, which I attended, was doing an exploratory program that had those three grades changing classes like what was going on at the junior and senior high schools. As a result, we went to one room for math from Miss Graham, (whom we secretly named graham cracker), to Miss Pierce who taught us English and reading, while Miss Shutterly watched over us in our music classes. At that stage of my life, I was least fond of social studies, including history and geography. As a side note, 16 years later those studies had become my favorites, and I became a social studies teacher myself.

Perhaps this turnaround had its roots in Miss Rhodes’ fourth-grade class when I received my first and only “D” at the Iowa facility. Miss “Dirt Rhodes,” whom I had despised at the time, knew that I could do much better. As a result, she had me remain after school for an additional half hour for the next six weeks.

As you might imagine, my love for her quickly dropped down several more degrees. After all, I could have been sledding or having snowball battles with Jerry Simmons and “Yawkey” Woodward!

Instead, I was in her boring room with my nose in that book! Well, I suppose her plan worked because my grade rose from that “D” to a “B.”

For the next two years I continued receiving “B’s” in her class with an occasional “A” thrown in. My new love for social studies was born!

Now, we turn to my Aunt Maude, who was one of the most opinionated and stubborn personalities I’ve ever known. She was the fourth born in my mother’s family and was 20 years my mother’s senior, which made her appear more as a grandmother figure than one of an aunt.

Aunt Maude was the only one of mom’s six sisters who never married. A good guess for this was that her very opinionated and bossy nature probably chased any would be suitors far away from any serious relationships.

As a typical old maid, Aunt Maude spent many of her idle hours at our house, which included all the major holidays.

One such occasion took place on Easter in 1944. I was then in Miss Rhodes fifth-grade class for geography where she taught us