Grandmother showers only one child with affection

DEAR ABBY: I’m a single mother of two children, an 8-year-old daughter and a 9-year-old son. My daughter’s father is involved; my son’s father is not. I was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH) when my daughter was born and given two weeks to live. My condition has markedly improved, and I am on the best treatment there is for it.

To safeguard my son in case something happens to me, my parents and I did a third-parent adoption. With this new law, I was able to add my parents to my son’s birth certificate without giving up my parental rights, and I remain the sole custodial parent. He stays with my parents three evenings a week.

The problem is, my mother blatantly favors my son over my daughter. Last year, she planned a Disney cruise for only herself, my son and me. I understand life is not 100% fair, but her favoritism goes beyond just tickets and trips. It’s everything from gifts and attention to tone of voice and how many pictures are on the wall. Everyone around us sees it, especially my daughter. Please advise.

— UNEQUAL IN OREGON DEAR UNEQUAL: I’ll BET your daughter notices it! The person who can put a stop to it is you. Consult the attorney who helped you with the custody arrangement and explain that what has been happening is not healthy for either of your children. After you find out what your options are, including possibly changing the custody agreement, confront your mother about her blatant favoritism. And be glad that your daughter’s father is as responsible as he seems to be.

DEAR ABBY: I live in an apartment building. I am quiet and keep to myself. There’s a concierge here who is incredibly nosy. When I pick up my package, she asks, “So, what’s in the package?” as if I’m doing something nefarious. She’s also a terrible gossip and a liar.

At the front desk, as well as to management, she has accused me of doing things that never happened — sexual impropriety, drug and tobacco use, etc. I started receiving strange, unsigned text messages with the same accusations. I can usually recognize who contacts me. My contact information was available in the office.

This woman recently accessed my apartment using a master key. Fortunately, I was home at the time. She was fired, but she was back last weekend. Our manager said she is here “temporarily” until he can find a replacement. There are multiple copies of these keys out there, and I no longer feel safe in my own home. What would you do if you were me? — INVADED IN GEORGIA DEAR INVADED: Document all the incidents that have happened. If they continue, write down the time and date they occur. This will prove beneficial should you need to escalate the matter. That the manager rehired a fired employee because of a staff shortage is disappointing. (It shouldn’t have happened, and there are better ways of augmenting staff needs.)

Because your manager has been unresponsive, reach out to the property owner or management company and report what has been going on. If that isn’t effective, report the matter to the police. Your safety and well-being must come first.

If you can afford to engage an attorney, consult one for advice on legal options you can consider to protect yourself from harassment, hostility or bullying. If the situation doesn’t improve, consider finding a new place to live.