By Sarah Pellis
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An Elizabeth Township family devasted over the suicide of their son is turning their grief into something positive and creating awareness in hopes of helping others struggling with mental illness.
Ed and Jacki Faircloth created the nonprofit organization “March Fourth” in their son Tanner’s honor. The organization is titled for his birthday, March 4, and its goal is to help those who are struggling with mental illness keep moving forward during difficult times and know that they are not alone.
Tanner was 23 when he passed away in the early morning hours of Sept. 15, 2023, due to a long battle with bipolar disorder, which tragically led to his suicide. His parents say he was — and is still — known as a charismatic kid who had a passion for coin collecting, swimming and taking walks.
“This has been devastating for our family,” Jacki said, who is a nurse at UPMC Montefiore in Oakland. ”Tanner was the kindest soul, so in the wake of this, we wanted to honor his kind and loving memory. Our purpose is to help provide needed items to support mental health patients and their families,” Jacki said. “We wanted to talk about Tanner’s mental health journey because we feel it is what ultimately took his life away, but we want him to be remembered as the kind, smart, and loving person that he always was.”
To raise money for their March Fourth nonprofit, a special fundraising event is set for today at Primanti Bros. Restaurant and Bar location at 830 Clairton Blvd., Pleasant Hills. From 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. today, 20% of event sales will go to March Fourth.
All customers can donate by showing their server a copy of their flier (printed or digital copy), using the Primanti’s QR Code on the flier to make an online order and/or entering the code “DINE2DONATE” at checkout as well as mention the “Dine to Donate” Fundraiser when placing a to-go order over the phone.
Through their son’s hospitalizations at UPMC Western Psychiatric Hospital, they learned that patients are not allowed to bring in shoes with laces or any clothing with hoods, strings, or zippers, according to Jacki. Patients are often admitted to the hospital for two to four weeks, if not longer. They said many patients are seen wearing hospital provided slipper socks and hospital pants and gowns.
After Tanner’s death, his mother was taking the shuttle home from work when she got the idea of donating Crocs shoes, or other safe items patients could wear during their stay at the hospital or while going through mental health issues.
The couple has been working with hospital administrators to make sure what they are donating is safe for patients.
“Tanner loved to wear Crocs and crewneck sweatshirts, so we got lucky that he was able to wear those,” Jacki said. “He even gave another patient his extra pair of shoes when he was admitted because that patient didn’t have any shoes to wear. Our first project through the nonprofit is to fundraise in order to donate Crocs and crewneck sweatshirts to the patients in WPIC, so that they have something comfortable to wear while they are in the hospital.”
Jacki said she is “really excited” for the fundraiser at Primanti Bros. today, as they are hoping to raise enough funds to place a first order of Crocs for patients at the hospital.
“Once we see how that goes and how much everything costs and the logistics, and working through the bugs, then we can be successful in doing more than just one project,” Jacki said. “So, I am excited to find that out.”
Jacki’s goal is to eventually give a package to every patient and raise enough money to possibly redecorate the hospital and to contribute to mental health research in their son’s memory,
Tanner’s Story
Born March 4, 2000, Tanner was “the cutest kid,” Jacki said, adding that he was naturally smart and really tall. He would collect old coins, sell old Legos that were worth a lot of money and eventually made a business on eBay — making $10,000 before he graduated from high school.
Tanner was also really good at swimming, according to his mother, but sometimes he would give the coach a hard time and not want to go to practice.
“It was cool to see him do something like that, especially because he was having troubles all along,” Jacki said. “He struggled through some of that. It wasn’t completely rainbows or anything like that, but he was still able to do it. It definitely helped when he was interested in something compared to writing an English paper or something like that.”
At age 15, he complained of unusual symptoms to his parents, which led him to a primary care physician. They couldn’t diagnose him then, but after years of appointments and increasing symptoms, he finally was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder in March 2022.
Despite his struggles, Tanner graduated from high school with good grades and was accepted into the University of Pittsburgh’s main campus to study in the business program.
When the pandemic hit, they realized dropping out of Pitt was the best option for Tanner at the time, but Tanner needed to find a job.
However, the work environments weren’t always the best for him and everything came to light that there was something really serious going on with his mental health.
“We were just excusing it as normal behavior — a teenage boy living at home you are going to butt heads sometimes,” Jacki said. “I didn’t realize that it was something more than that. It was really hard when he woke me up that morning and said he was hearing voices.”
After much resistance, that is what led them to getting Tanner to UPMC Western Psychiatric Hospital, where he was at the hospital for a month. Tanner also signed himself back into the hospital on July 5, 2023, and was there for three weeks.
Tanner was doing everything he could do to get better, Jacki said, but his symptoms were hard to manage and the side effects took their toll on him.
“He kept trying and trying and I think it got to the point where he couldn’t do it anymore,” Jacki said.
In an essay that is part of a UPMC support group for survivors of suicide, Tanner’s parents described the morning of Sept. 15, the tragic day their son was found at the Boston Trail by police officers after a panicked search for him.
“After about 3 1/2 hours, the officers came to let us know that they had found Tanner, but they were very sorry, he was already gone,” the essay states. “We were obviously completely devastated.”
Marching forward
Keeping busy has helped Jacki and Ed through the process of losing their son. Creating the foundation in his honor is also helping.
“For us, to be able to help someone who may be in the same position as us with our son, we wanted to do that,” Jacki said. “It gives me somewhere to help others who are in the same boat. We understand why Tanner was in the position that he was and we don’t want to take that choice he made away from him. We want to respect that because he was just suffering and was trying for so long to get better. I don’t want to take any of that away from him, but I just want something for hope, whether the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention does it or we do it in the future,” Jacki said.
Ed has also been helping Jacki with the foundation.
“The two of us have been through a lot and he has been my rock and supporting me in each of these steps,” Jacki said. “Family, Ed’s family, friends, my boss, I am thankful to have them in my life. You will find people that didn’t know existed, and I appreciate that.
Jacki hopes that doctors and researchers in the future will find ways to get medication to have less side effects, get a diagnosis better and faster as well as find the funds for research.
There is a lot of stigma around mental health, according to Jacki, especially around young boys who may not want to admit they have symptoms or mental illness. She hopes to tell Tanner’s story so others might feel comfortable admitting to their doctor, mom or a trusted friend.
“Tanner was very upfront with everything that was going on, which was sometimes hard, but it was needed. A lot of people didn’t know their sons were struggling. They didn’t say because they were almost afraid to say or embarrassed. There is so much stigma around it. If you say you are getting mental health treatment, it’s like people shy away from that.”
Another fundraiser, “Boston PA Hike for Hope: May the 4th be with You!,” will be held from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. May 4 at the Boston trailhead of the Mon/ Yough section of the Great Allegheny Passage.
Registration can be found at https://supporting.afsp.org/event/BostonPAHFH and donations can be made as well. The March Fourth charity Venmo account can also be donated to @marchfourth2000.
Through March Fourth and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the walk is in honor of all those affected by suicide and in loving memory of five sons that were lost to suicide: Tanner, Johnathan Fonos, Michael Shaffer, Hunter Shoben and Christopher Yuhas.
Jacki said that being in the midst of suicidal thoughts, or experiencing a loved one in it, can be extremely scary, but to not be afraid to help someone. Being an advocate for that loved one and not downplaying their symptoms is very important.
“You kind of feel like sometimes you don’t want to go there and you want to quit, but don’t give up with things,” Jacki said. “Don’t not do something because you are afraid to do it. Keep chugging along and keeping your head up as much as you can do.
“I would say if you are a patient or someone having thoughts, make sure you tell somebody that you trust, whether it’s your parents or a friend or a doctor or even calling the emergency line 988 or 911 if you have to. Getting help in any way you can just so you can let someone know what is going on so they can try to help you.”
Jacki also advised parents to make sure they help themselves as well because it is really hard as a parent to go through something like suicide or mental health issues with a child.
“Make sure you are taking care of your own mental health,” Jacki said. “If you need help through therapy for your mental health, make sure you take care of that or you talk to someone. It’s a lot of appointments, a lot of medications to keep track of. Just make sure you are taking care of yourself too.”
She also advised people to use their resources and connections because a lot of people will help along the way. Just mentioning something or reaching out is the first step.
“It has been so amazing how people have been so helpful to us along the way. Friends, family, strangers,” Jacki said. “It’s been so heartfelt how people have been, using as many connections as you can. It’s amazing. There are good people out there that will help you.”